One of the big no-no’s in trying to build out a website and blog with the intent of having others, well, read it, is to keep it updated. After buying my domain and setting up my email in July 2018 the desire and intent was there but the scenario and circumstances conspired against that. The cosmic forces told me in brutal fashion I was not ready.
I took a step back after realizing a few mountains, hills, and molehills needed to be climbed and conquered.
First up was my health. After several months of getting my knowledge of my newly diagnosed condition – Type 1 Diabetes – up to where I could manage it every day – I was not even close. I battled a still-too-high A1C, some complications, issues getting access to the insulin and health care I needed via changing clinics, and that whole pesky “What am I going to eat??” pervaded my life every day. Oh, and I was working full-time in a relatively new job while managing all these required changes in my daily schedule. Every day with the stress of managing this all-encompassing condition that still messed with my ability to think and just feel good coupled with needing to continue that paycheck was overwhelming and depression was at an all-time high.
The second thing was an issue back home in MN. After publishing a few blog posts in July and August 2018 and wanting to push this forward – I got the call that my mom was very sick and recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. A few days after that was her decision to not pursue any treatment. A couple weeks after that I was in the car with an overnight bag headed 1,300 miles north to spend time with her before she got too sick. I was able to spend a week and half with her – talking, cleaning things out, and preparing myself for the inevitable and knowing this was the last time I would see her. That entire situation deserves much more than this little paragraph and will get that once I have more feelings processed on it and can write them. After leaving to go back to south Texas – a month later was the call that she was put into full-time hospice and two days later she passed. All of this happened very quickly diagnosis to death = 2.5 months. After that was another “quick trip” through 2 snowstorms (each way and always in Iowa!) to get to the funeral and get back home to work as I was out of vacation and sick time. Back to the grind and a another layer of grief to battle.
All of that drama plus the day to day hassles of life and work pushed this passion project of building this website to the back burner. I have spent the last few months getting myself to a great place with my health, finances, and now some stress-less living via some major life news (of which will be revealed in my next post) have propelled me forward in profound ways. I am happier than I’ve ever been and eternally grateful for the time that I had and needed in order to prepare myself for the goals and lifestyle I want to have going forward.
Always remember that sometimes you are down but never out.